The Big Mistake Most Men Make on a Date: Paying Her Way

Tell me something and be brutally honest: are you one of those guys who still pays a woman's way on a date? I'm no mind-reader, but I'll bet I know the answer...

Of course you're paying for women on dates. And that's why this URGENT TIP is aimed directly at you: you need to STOP IT. Right NOW.

I know, I know... You think you're impressing her. Scoring points. But here's the shocking (and slightly counter-intuitive) fact:

PAYING A WOMAN'S WAY ON A DATE ACTUALLY *DECREASES* YOUR CHANCE OF SUCCESS WITH HER.

Stay with me, since the reasons for all this can sound as misleading as they are simple.

For our purposes, I want you to consider "traditional dinner dates" to be a thing of the past. History. As far as we're concerned, they're now officially EXTINCT.

Why?

Because when you ask a woman out and then pay for the date, you're making her think of you in THE COMPLETELY WRONG WAY.

Pretty profound, I know. But please, hold the applause.

Let me explain this a little more...

A lot of good research suggests that women think men, who are potential mates, fall into one of two categories. I call these categories "Lover" and "Provider".

The basic idea goes like this:

In a "traditional" boy-meets-girl situation, the girl makes a decision early on whether you're the type of guy that she should get physically involved with quickly (spelled A-T-T-R-A-C-T-I-O- N), or if you're of the "nicer" type (spelled W-U-S-S-Y) that would be glad to "prove" himself to her by paying for lots of expensive dates, buying flowers, etc.

I realize that I'm generalizing here, and that I'm being a bit extreme... but I'm making a point, so go with me.

A very common approach that men use is the old "Can I take you out sometime?" line.

At first glance, it sounds innocent enough.

It has the ring of "I'm a nice guy, and I'd like to take you to dinner so I have a chance to get to know you better" to it, right?

Well, it may seem that way at first glance, but let's get a little deeper into what ELSE you're saying when you ask a question like this one (or start off by paying for dinner, etc.).

Here are a few of the OTHER LESS OBVIOUS things that you're saying when you offer to "take a woman out".

1) You're starting off the relationship RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING by offering to buy something for her, and more importantly YOU'RE SETTING AN EXPECTATION. In other words, when you do this, you're setting an expectation that you're going to do this from NOW ON.

2) You're subtly saying, "I feel like I need to use a bribe to get you to see me again". I'm sure that men have been bribing women with food and gifts since the dawn of our species. Does this sound far-fetched to you? Check out how our closest relatives, the chimps use food to persuade females to have sex with them. No, really.

3) Once you "take a woman out" and prove to her beyond the shadow of a doubt that you like to pay for things, you set a whole series of other subconscious expectations in place. Without going into detail, most of these other expectations will only lead her thinking of you in the "nice guy" category, and costing you time and money that you might as well have thrown down a rat hole.

4) By going out to a typical nice restaurant setting, you start a whole chain of events that often leads to two people looking at each other over a candle, in a loud room full of other people, with a typically uncomfortable "OK, so tell me about yourself and don't ask me too many personal questions please" look on your faces.

I don't know about you, but this just isn't my idea of a good time.

So, what's the alternative?

Thought you'd never ask.

Success with women is about becoming the type of man that NATURALLY attracts them. Becoming the type of man who projects power, confidence, and masculinity. The kind of cool, charismatic guy that other men want to emulate and women LOVE to be seen with.

Of course, there's a lot that goes into eliminating all the "uncool" baggage and habits that guys carry around like man-purses, usually without even realizing it.

The inner "wussy" that sabotages your success with women can be sneaky. In fact, sometimes it's hard to see even when it's staring straight back at you from the mirror.

How Women Test Men And How To Pass

Women test men because they need to QUICKLY figure out what they're dealing with, and they can't expect a man to just be straight up and honest about his strengths and weaknesses.

I mean, let's face it... we guys like to talk a big game, but when it comes to walking the talk,we often can't BACK IT UP. Also, beautiful women have a lot of options. They have their pick of men. And beautiful women prefer STRONG men. Not physically strong (although this can be an advantage), but strong in CHARACTER and PERSONAL IDENTITY. Remember! Women aren't attracted to WUSSIES.

So let me ask you... if you were an attractive woman that was being chased around by 100 guys,how would YOU go about figuring out which one or ones were the "real deal" and which were merely FAKING strength and confidence? Of course... you'd have to TEST them. But you couldn't test by saying, "OK, I'm going to give you a test now, so get ready." 

No no NO! You'd have to use "blind" tests. Tests that would allow you to see a man's true strengths and weaknesses. And in fact, you'd want to use tests that ideally DIDN'T ALLOW HIM TO KNOW THAT YOU WERE TESTING... OR WHAT YOU HAD  DISCOVERED ABOUT HIM WITH THOSE TESTS. This way, if he turned out to be a Wuss Bag, you could slip away quickly and easily.

This would give you the power... Of course. And if you did this OFTEN, you'd eventually become so accustomed to doing it, that MANY of the tests would become SUBCONSCIOUS and work their way into your NATURAL, EVERYDAY way of communicating

with men. 

Well, guess what? That's what is going on with beautiful women. Many of the tests that they use with men are actually OUTSIDE OF THEIR AWARENESS. They test us

automatically! And if you fail one of these tests, there's a good chance that you won't get another chance. In this fast-paced world, we humans don't have the time to spend getting to know people over a few months or years to figure out whether or not they're the kind of person that would make a good

friend or mate. We need to know NOW.

So we use shortcuts. Testing is a shortcut for women. It lets them discover VERY RAPIDLY whether you have BALLS, or if you're just another one of the bazillion Wusses that are trying to get her attention. I hope you feel what I'm saying.

So, the next time you're standing in front of a beautiful woman who you've just asked for her number and she says, "Why don't you just give me yours and I'll call YOU..." try CHUCKLING out loud, and saying:

"Oh, come on. Don't give me that old line. Write your number down and I'll only call you 25 times a day until you wind up having to change it because I have nothing better to do with my time than call someone who doesn't want to hear from me." Then hand her a pen, point to the paper, and look her in the eye expectantly.

Love it.

Now, obviously there's a lot more to this issue of TESTING. There's a lot more going on than meets the eye. There are all kinds of subtle cues and body language that women read to decide just what kind of man you are... and these cues also trigger ATTRACTION (or the opposite).

What Annoys Women, AND What Attracts Them

If you listen to women talk about men, you'll often hear them use the word “ANNOYING" to describe certain men and certain things that some men DO.


Now, as you can probably guess, it's not usually a good thing when a woman uses this particular word to describe a guy... And, as you can ALSO probably guess, when a woman uses this particular word, it's not usually about guys who she is ATTRACTED to (although this isn't always true).
   
THINGS THAT ANNOY WOMEN...

·         Calling her too often

·         Telling her that you have "feelings" for her too
early

·         Giving away your power to her and making her the
boss 

·         Always asking a woman what she wants instead of
leading

·         Acting submissive and weak

·         Accepting her demands, bossy-ness, and
manipulative requests

·         Being her doormat and putting your own needs
aside

   "HOW COULD THIS BE?"... You might be thinking. Well guess what? IT IS.


Women, and ESPECIALLY the most ATTRACTIVE and desirable women, usually consider the above things to be VERY annoying. 

Of course, the reason for this is because no matter how good these kinds of behaviors seem on the surface, there's only one conclusion that can be drawn from them;
THE MAN DOING THEM IS A BONAFIDE, 100% CERTIFIED WUSSY! AND WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO WUSSIES. NEVER!


So now you understand why all of the "nice" things that you've done for women seem to always result in the woman pulling away. It's because she finds your nice-guy "Wuss" behaviors to be ANNOYING.


AND IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE...


To further confuse things, you'll often hear a woman say something to the effect of... "I want a STRONG guy who is also SENSITIVE..." ...or... "He needs to have his own life, his own interests, and his own friends, but also be totally focused on me..."


Women often talk about wanting a combination of things in a man that just don't seem to fit... 


So what's going on here? Are women crazy? (Yes.)


But seriously, what are they talking about? How is it that women seem to always talk about wanting men who have these qualities that don't fit together?


I thought that maybe this came down to getting my lazy ass to the gym and working out. You know, to become "stronger". Well, here's the BIG REALIZATION that I had... I've now realized that I had it all wrong.
Instead of thinking to myself that I was a nice, sensitive guy that needed to become a little stronger, what I really needed was to become a strong guy who could also act sensitive on occasion. 


The difference seems almost like word-play, but it's not. You see, when a woman says that she wants a "strong guy who's also sensitive", what she means, is that She wants a guy who's STRONG. The sensitive part is far more "optional" than the STRONG part.


This is why women often date jerks and guys who are emotionally unavailable, and don't date "nice guys" who would do anything for them.


THINGS THAT ATTRACT WOMEN...

·         Lean back. Act Cocky & Funny around women. Bust on them and give them a hard time. And LEAD the way, don't follow

·         Body Language is more important than WORD language. In fact, you can have the smoothest "pick up lines" in the world... but if you don't understand Body Language, the woman you're talking to CAN'T feel ATTRACTION for you.

·         Doing "nice" things for a woman doesn't make her any more likely to feel ATTRACTION for you. In fact, most of these things BACKFIRE... and end up pushing her AWAY.

·         Even though "jerks" and "bad boys" don't treat women well, it doesn't mean that women don't feel ATTRACTION for them. In fact, women often report feeling INCREDIBLY attracted to these kinds of men... so powerfully, in fact, that they can't CONTROL these feelings...

The Ten Most Dangerous Mistakes YOU Probably Make With Women

Guys! This is the debut article for this blog, I actually didn't know where to start but this was the best I could come up with. Actually this blog is not going to be on women alone, but 90% will be *grins* we intend to talk on lifestyle issues and fashion. 


What you'll read on this blog, is not just a writers opinion, there have been reaserched by David DeAngelo for years and can be confirmed fact by me and you too, when you begin to implement them. So lets get to it!

So! on the subject, we all know how annoying it is when you realized you've just goofed on a chic and wonder where you went wrong... I bet you must have made one of these dangerous mistake. 

These Deadly Common Mistakes...

MISTAKE #1: Being Too Much of A "Nice" Guy

Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted to "nice" guys? Of course you have.

Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive female friends that always seemed to date "jerks"... but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU! What's going on here? It's actually very simple...

Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them. And guess what? Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION. And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you.

I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT... but GET OVER IT. Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that you want. 

MISTAKE #2: Trying To "Convince" Her To Like You

What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like... but she's just not interested? Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently. Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION! Never, ever, EVER. You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning". 

Think about it. If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being "reasonable" with her? But we all do it. When a woman just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind. Bad idea. One that will never work. 

MISTAKE #3: Looking To Her For Approval Or Permission 

In our desire to please women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys are always doing things to get a woman's "approval" or "permission". Another HORRIBLE  idea. Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them... EVER! 

Don't get me wrong here. You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to like you. But if you think that treating a woman well means "always getting her approval and permission for things", think again. You will never succeed by looking for approval. Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their approval. Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if Wussy guys who chase her around and want her approval annoy her... 

MISTAKE #4: Trying To "Buy" Her Affection with Money, Food And Gifts

How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and stuff, and had she REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her even HALF as well as you did? If you're like me, then you've had it happen a LOT.  Well guess what? It's only NATURAL when this happens... That's right, I said NATURAL. 

When you do these things, you send a clear message: "I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and affection". Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That's right; I said that women see this as MANIPULATION. 

MISTAKE #5: Sharing "How You Feel" Too Early In The Relationship With Her

Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too early on. Attractive women are rare. And they get a LOT of attention from men. Most men don't realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another ALL THE TIME by men. 

An attractive woman is often approached several times a DAY by men who are interested. This translates into dozens of times per week, and often HUNDREDS of times per month. And guess what? Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men. That's right. They have EXPERIENCE. They know what to expect. And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates. 

This signals to the woman that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast... and can't control themselves. Don't do it. Lean back. Relax. There's a much better way... 

MISTAKE #6: Not "Getting" How Attraction Works For
Women

Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION. You need to accept this fact, and deal with it. When a man sees a beautiful woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction.

But does the same apply for women? Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on?

Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks.

Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around? Think about it.

Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men... and they're more attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone. If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of  powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a beautiful young woman. 

But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this. And ANY guy can learn how...

MISTAKE #7: Thinking That It Takes Money And Looks

One of the most common mistakes that guys make is giving up before they've even gotten started... because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who have looks and money... or guys who are a certain height... or guys who are a certain age. And sure, there are some women who are only interested in these things. But MOST women are far more interested in a man's personality than his wallet or his looks. 

There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet... And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys. YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just because you aren't rich, tall, or handsome. 

Let me say this again: If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.

MISTAKE #8: Giving Away All Of Your Power To Women

Earlier I mentioned that it's a mistake to look to a woman for approval or permission. Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women. Said differently, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants. Another bad idea... Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over... Women aren't attracted to Wussies!

MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing EXACTLY What To Do In Each
Type Of Situation With Women

Now I'm going to blow your mind...

A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking. Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES. I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you're out on a date with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it. And if you don't know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won't help!

And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating...

Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking her out, kissing her, getting physical... everything.

If you don't know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it up... and LOSE  EVERYTHING.

And you KNOW it. It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY how to go from one step to the next with a woman... from the first meeting, all the way to the bedroom.

MISTAKE #10: Not Getting HELP

This is the biggest mistake of all. This is the mistake that keeps most men from EVER having the kind of success with women that they truly want.

I know, guys don't like to make themselves look weak or helpless. We don't like to ask for help.

Watch out for more tips on women!