Meeting Women In Your 30s

I don’t want to have sex. I want to date. I want a relationship. When I meet women and they realize this, I'm pretty sure it makes my life more difficult. Sometimes it even means I've blown a chance for a night of no-strings-attached sex. But I can’t help it. I’m in my 30s, and, when it comes to one-night stands, I've done it all. Now I want more. They can smell it on me. Talk about scaring away potential candidates.  

I don’t want to be single when I'm 50. I'm terrified that someday I'll run into my niece at a bar and she will introduce me with great embarrassment to her hubby. So meeting women these days carries a different incentive than it used to when I was slimmer and cared less about most things. The question, when dating in your 30s, is whether you're willing to adapt. 

The fact of the matter is you are locked in to stereotypes if you’re still cruising the single social scene after a certain age. Of course, this isn't a problem if you are just looking to get anyone back to your one-bedroom apartment for a night of… you know what. But we are here to talk about dating. I'm talking to the guys who want to get out of the rut of meaningless sexual conquests and step into a partnership that can lead to something more in their lives.

I've been out, meeting lots of women. I have met younger women and women my age. And I can confirm two things with absolute certainty. First, being honest about what you want from women is never a bad thing, even if that thing is a relationship. In most cases, when I have dropped that into a first meet over a drink, women find it endearing.  They find it romantic. There is no downside if you play it sincerely. I’m not saying to be creepy and overly enthusiastic, but letting a girl know you are about more than one night is not uncool anymore. It’s mature. And mature is sexy. That brings me to the second thing.

For many guys, your 30s are the prime of your life. You can be confident about what you want, and you have the experience to back it up. Confidence means being proud of what you want, not underhanded. I once bought a round of drinks at party. Four girls. All drunk. All cute. All fun. The minute I came clean about being a guy looking for "that girl," the deafening sound of their “awwwws!” told me that there was some value in being straightforward. It wasn’t just what I was saying; it was that I was saying it with pride. I was owning that sh*t. And that is cool. 

Meeting women is harder as you get older. And I'm not even speaking about the actual dating part -- that’s in its own is a different ball game. When you first meet, you run the risk of being branded as either unable to commit or just unworthy of being committed to. But in those first moments, you can flip those single 30-something stereotypes on their head by just coming clean. I'm single because I have not met the right girl yet. I want to meet her.  Maybe she's reading this; maybe she's not. But let’s find out.